Me First! Radical Selfishness as a Marker of Mature Leadership

“Me first” sounds suspicious in leadership. Almost like admitting weakness, failure or a lack of integrity. We tend to admire leaders who endure more than others, push themselves to the limit, operate under long-term pressure and sacrifice themselves for the team. Yet this is exactly where one of the most harmful myths of modern leadership begins. Without the ability to put yourself first, you cannot carry responsibility for others in a sustainable, healthy or high-quality way.

In our work, radical selfishness has nothing to do with egoism or indifference. It is not an attitude of “me first and the rest doesn’t matter.” It is a conscious, adult and responsible way of treating yourself as a key resource. A leader who ignores their own capacities, boundaries and inner state may perform well for a while, but over time becomes a risk — to themselves, to their team and to the wider system.

Support does not come from sacrifice. It comes from having enough. To develop, guide, inspire or hold others through uncertainty, you need something to draw from. This is true at work, in relationships and in parenting. Wherever we carry responsibility for others, exhaustion, frustration and quiet resentment eventually appear — and these are not signs of commitment, but signals of a poorly set relationship with oneself.

The resources behind radical selfishness are far from purely material. Financial stability and safety matter, but they are not sufficient. Equally important are knowledge resources — experience, competence and the ability to bring clarity into complex situations. And then there are emotional resources: the capacity to handle pressure, stay grounded in uncertainty, regulate stress and remain stable and readable even when things fall apart.

Radical selfishness means consciously building, protecting and renewing these resources. It means asking questions many leaders avoid: How am I really doing? Where do I recharge? What is draining more energy than it returns? The ability not just to ask these questions but to act on them is a sign of mature leadership.

Mindset plays a central role. Not tools or techniques on their own, but the way we think about ourselves and manage our inner environment. Awareness, attention and inner dialogue create space for realistic self-assessment and sound decision-making. This ties directly to self-efficacy — the belief in our ability to handle situations. A leader who can rely on themselves does not hesitate to take responsibility and step into situations that are already in motion.

This inner work includes very practical skills: breathwork, stress regulation, meditation, conscious emotional processing, gratitude and perspective-taking. These are not “soft extras”, but practical tools that expand our capacity to stay functional under pressure. They help us remain present, stable and useful — exactly what teams, partners and children need from us in uncertain times.

Radical selfishness is not distancing oneself from others. It is a deep respect for the reality of relationships. It marks a shift from sacrifice to responsibility, from pushing through at all costs to sustainable strength. A leader who allows themselves to come first does not weaken relationships — they make them stronger, clearer and healthier over time.

This is why we see radical selfishness as one of the essential markers of mature leadership. Not as a provocation, but as a prerequisite for being a genuine source of support without losing yourself.

How We Work with Radical Selfishness in Our Trainings

„Authentic Leadership Bootcamp“

Radical Selfishness as Meeting Yourself

„Authentic Leadership Bootcamp“ focuses on the leader’s inner barriers — everything we bring into decision-making, pressure and uncertainty before we enter relationships with others. The work is not primarily with the team, but with oneself, in situations that reveal automatic reactions, personal limits and ingrained patterns.

Here, radical selfishness shows up as the ability to stay connected with yourself even in discomfort. In an unfamiliar environment with no clear instructions, internal barriers emerge quickly: the need for control, fear of failure, excessive responsibility or the urge to withdraw from decisions. Participants can not only see these patterns but work with them in real time.

The Bootcamp builds deep awareness of who I am when I cannot hide behind a role or performance. This is where experience-based self-efficacy is formed: I held my ground even when confronted with myself. Radical selfishness becomes the ability to face oneself directly and take responsibility for one’s inner setup.

Authentic Leadership Bootcamp

„X-treme Management“

Radical Selfishness as Managing Energy Under Pressure

„X-treme Management“ works with radical selfishness under high pressure, limited resources and both physical and mental strain. Here it becomes crystal clear how leaders treat their energy, attention and resilience when there is no space for comfort or perfect planning.

Radical selfishness in this context means the ability to regulate yourself before trying to regulate the situation. Participants learn to work with stress, fatigue and intensity in a way that keeps them functional. It is not about heroism or pushing through at any cost, but about recognising the line between growth and destruction.

This training strengthens the ability to navigate crisis from within — through concentration, clarity and decision-making capacity. Radical selfishness becomes the skill of protecting one’s own functionality, because without it, leadership in extreme conditions quickly collapses into chaos.

X-tream Management

„Mentální lázně“

Radical Selfishness as Long-Term Replenishment

„Mentální lázně“ represent the gentlest yet deepest form of working with radical selfishness. They do not address immediate performance or pressure, but the long-term quality of one’s relationship with oneself. This is where inner stability is cultivated — the kind we can draw on in work, relationships and parenting.

Here, radical selfishness means conscious care for mental and emotional capacity. Breathwork, meditation, emotional processing, gratitude and inner dialogue help participants slow down, become aware of their state and reconnect with themselves.

The outcome is not higher performance, but a deeper sense of inner support. Self-efficacy here arises not from overcoming obstacles, but from experiencing inner calm, clarity and perspective. Radical selfishness becomes the natural foundation of healthy leadership and healthy relationships.

Mentální lázně

Shared Framework

Every training works with radical selfishness differently and with different intensity. What unites them is simple:

first work with yourself, then work with others.

„Authentic Leadership Bootcamp“ uncovers inner barriers, „X-treme Management“ tests functionality under pressure and „Mentální lázně“ build long-term resources. Together they form a coherent development path toward mature leadership based not on sacrifice, but on conscious personal capacity.

Author: doc. Ing. Jiří Koleňák, Ph.D., MBA, LL.M.